I didn't want to be alive again after career ending tackle, McKinnon

Former Newcastle Knights man Alex McKinnon says he did not want to live
at times in the aftermath of the tackle that put him in a coma and ended his
career.
McKinnon landed head first following a three-man tackle involving
Jordan McLean and Australia captain Cameron Smith during an NRL
match with Melbourne Storm in March 2014.
While McKinnon ultimately left hospital, he is yet to walk independently
and spoke for the first time on Sunday about the tackle and the impact on
his life.
The 23-year-old hit out at Smith's behaviour in the immediate aftermath
of the incident and explained he did not want to be alive at times following
the tackle.
"I didn't want to be alive, I honestly didn't," he told Channel Nine's 60
Minutes programme.
"I had that many thoughts going through my head and I just felt it was
unfair for me to be alive [like that], I honestly did.
"I just kept thinking about my pop. My pop died a year before I debuted.
"Coincidentally he died just after I met [fiance] Teigan and that was just the
thoughts that were going through my head.
"I just wanted to die, I honestly didn’t want to be alive. I just felt like it
was torture ... that’s just the way I felt."
McKinnon was shown the tackle for the first time during the programme
and reserved criticism for Smith, who was heard saying "if he doesn't duck
his head, that doesn't happen" following the incident.
While Smith's club defended him, stating no-one knew the severity of the
situation at the time and that Smith requested to visit, McKinnon was
angered by the comments.
When shown the video, McKinnon stated: "He's still debating? Is he f
serious? Wouldn't you just shut up?
"That's the Australian captain there, well done. That’s f ridiculous.
"I don't know if [Smith's] tried to get in contact through the club but I'm
sure if Jordan McLean could make contact, [Smith] probably could."